Surprised by fatherhood: a list

1. The washing. My goodness, the washing. How does somebody so small generate so much laundry?!

2. Everything I own has a little bit of vomit on it now.

3. The love I immediately had for him was unconditional and irrational and visceral and fully complete.

4. It is surprisingly easy to switch from “playtime Dad voice” to “serious lawyer voice” in mere seconds.

5. You spend more time than you would think on your hands and knees every day looking for dummies and teethers and lost socks.

6. How he can wake up every hour from midnight to 5am but somehow when he smiles at me at 7am the room will brighten and all is forgotten.

7. It’s possible to attend relatively serious (Teams) meetings with vomit on one’s shirt but still project credibility.

8. I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world (though I would pay a handsome sum for a good night’s sleep).

2021: a bit much…

I’ve become fond of saying “2021 is a bit much”. And to be frank, it has been. Perhaps that’s an understatement.

That’s not to say it’s been a bad year, personally; it hasn’t.

It’s just been… a bit much.

At its height, its gift from God was our beautiful baby boy. At its nadir, its cruellest cut was saying goodbye to my grandfather by zoom. Then there was changing jobs and balancing career growth with a family, navigating the highs and lows parenthood, entering a third year without seeing my family, loved ones’ health issues, watching lockdowns come and go, making new friends and trying to be the best husband I can.

Clearly it wasn’t all bad. It was just… a bit much.

I’m tired.

I think many of us are.

Here’s to 2022 being the right amount of stuff and not another year of being… a bit much.